


Damn It, Eve

by McRaider



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Is Sorry, F/M, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), Genderfluid Character, M/M, Trans Character, to women, wily snake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 00:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McRaider/pseuds/McRaider
Summary: Aziraphale accidentally makes too much of an effort, and ends up getting a period.Crowley helps him get through it.The fluffier the better!





	Damn It, Eve

Damn it, Eve!  
McRaider  
Summary: He’d done it out of interest and out of desire for his demon. Now all he can do is curse that bloody demon and the bitch who took a bite of the apple.  
Author’s Note: Answer to the Good Omens Kink meme request: Aziraphale accidentally makes too much of an effort and ends up having a period, Crowley helps him get through it. You can find it [here](https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/616.html?thread=212584#cmt212584).

The decision had been made mutually of course. They’d played around with their gender fluidity before of course, Crowley as Warlock’s Nanny, and more recently as they’d started experimenting sexually. Prior to the Apocalypse they’d hidden their feelings mostly. Now, with both sides all but uninterested in them, the two were free to do what they pleased.

It had been Aziraphale who’d suggested it, he’d already felt Crowley inside him, he wanted him inside him in another way, a new way. It had been everything he’d hoped of and dreamt of, glorious and delightful, to be filled with his lover, both of them coming at the same time.

It was wonderful, that is, until the next day. He hadn’t changed back, deciding it was best to keep some aspects of his feminine part, in case they wanted to toil again later. But then he rolled over, and woke up with what felt like an ice pick stabbing into his left eye. He let out a groan of pain as he rolled over, and that’s when he felt something strange between his legs. Oddly cold and hot at the same time, flipping the covers back he gulped at the sight of blood on his pants, thighs and sheets. “Crowley, I think something is wrong,” his voice shook, before he could say anything further he felt strange cramp in his stomach and lower abdomen. “Crowley,” he whined, reaching out and smacking his hand against his lover’s arm.

“Wha---Je—Sat…what the hell happened, Aziraphale?” Crowley asked waking up at the sight of the red on the sheets. It wasn’t a large splotch, probably no bigger than a small puddle. He studied his lover who was holding his abdomen, face distorted in pain.

“Did you hurt me?” Aziraphale asked.

Crowley rolled his eyes, he gently helped lift his lover off the bed and move into the loo, “Sit down on the toilet, wipe yourself off love. It’s called a period, which I’d have thought you would know by now when it comes to women.”

Aziraphale felt unreasonably irked by that, “Oi, of course I bloody know what a period is, you knob. What do I do, this hasn’t ever happened when I’ve been female before.”

Crowley held up his hands in defense, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. What do you need?”

Aziraphale grunted, gnashing his teeth together again as another cramp overcame his midsection, “Is this punishment?” Aziraphale demanded.

Crowley blanched, “Excuse me?”

“Eve was punished for eating the apple, was this her punishment?”

Crowley’s mouth bobbed open and shut a little, unsure how to respond, “Uh, I…maybe?” he said softly.

“You blasted serpent, you bastard,” he groaned as he clenched his teeth.

Crowley, not entirely an idiot and having been around men and women long enough to know this wasn’t a good thing, quickly backed out of the loo and made his way back into the bedroom to get dressed, “Give me ten minutes, I’ll make it better, promise,” he assured.

Aziraphale knew he could of course change back into the male form, but it wasn’t instant, it would take some time and if his body had already started this process it was unlikely the human form would stop even once he had changed back.

When Crowley returned, he had in his hands a back of sanitary napkins, “I changed the sheets, and got you a hot water bottle, along with some ibuprofen, which is better at reducing the pain than some other things.”

“Stupid Eve, can’t believe she listened to a wiley serpent,” Aziraphale growled as he cleaned himself up and put a napkin on. “Of all the blasted things you had to cause.” Irrational anger, he knew it was a part of the process, but he still couldn’t help how furious he felt at his lover right now.

“I didn’t know,” Crowley reasoned.

“You didn’t bloody know, you knew it would be bad whatever happened, Crowley! Women all over the world suffer because you thought it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“All right!” Crowley shouted in return. He stepped back as he watched his partner make his way back to the bed.

Crowley put the hot water bottle over Aziraphale’s stomach, and gave him the painkillers with some water, “Did you want me to keep you company?”

Aziraphale wanted to say no, wanted to curse the bloody serpent, but then the rational part of his brain kicked in, overriding the agonizing pain in the front of his skull. “Please lie down with me,” he whined.

Crowley nodded; glad he could something for his partner, “I’m sorry, love.”

With his apology, Crowley wrapped his arms around his lover as gently as he could, rubbing his stomach soothingly, gentle with his touch. “I’m sorry,” he offered again, running his other hand massaging Aziraphale’s head.

“Poor women everywhere, all because you had to let them see good versus evil,” grumbled Aziraphale as he scooted closer to his lover.

Crowley kept his arms lose around his partner, but pressed a gentle kiss to the back of the man’s neck near his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to love, I never meant to do this to any of the women on this planet.”

“Wily snake,” Aziraphale mumbled as he felt the painkiller start to kick in and the cramps begin to ebb away.

“But you still love your Wily Snake, right?” Crowley asked playfully.

Aziraphale smirked, “Mm, more than an angel probably should, I’m sure.”

The End


End file.
